Self Doubt

Am I good enough?

I find this stuck in my head ever since I decided to embark on the journey of becoming a filmmaker. It's like an imaginary rope binding my limbs together, restricting me from running loose going entirely obessed with everything about film. Yet I feel this restriction helps me to be patient. To take one step at a time, and slowly get myself out of this restriction.

Today, I find myself peaking in self doubt. A person told me that he finds me funny, finds that I want to have that film vibe and look like I'm into film by buying instructional "how-tos", but I really I just don't know anything about filmmaking. Basically saying that I'm a pseudo filmmaker, he insulted my ambition without reason. It was something he says he had just obesvered. He was unforgiving about it too.

I instantly felt angry more at myself than him. I peaked at self doubt, the rope got tighter. I would usually ignore such an insult from any Tom, Dick or Harry. But, it came from someone I respected, someone who through experience, really knew what they were doing.

I wouldn't completely ignore his insult nor would I completely willow in self-doubt. He is right at the fact that I don't really know filmmaking. I'll just continue growing,  experiencing, filmmaking. Having this harsh insult in mind, I will one day break loose from these ropes I am restricted from. Till then bye for now Internet!

Cheers
Sman